Libra (September 24-October 23)

Libras are anal retentives whose sole purpose in life is to be right all the time. They respond to admiration, praise and flattery, but only for a couple of seconds at a time.

Libras love living in style, especially if they cannot afford it. Show me a bitch who won't fuck until she's had jewelry, candlelight dinners in expensive restaurants & satin sheets, and I'll show you a loose Libra. To them, sex is something animals do. Of course that may be why they lead their spouses around on a leash.

Hobbies Libras love include interior decoration (when someone else is paying for it), fashion, needlework (including voodoo), listening to art shows, and watching concerts. Opera fans are almost always Libras.

These people will do almost anything for peace and harmony. The way to drive a Libra ape-shit is to say "fuck me or I'll play loud punk rock music." Along those lines, Libras make the best hostages. Unfortunately, many of them also become cops. Nightsticks make a well-behaved lover.

Famous Libras include Friedrich Nietzsche, Eugene O'Neill, Brigitte Bardot (No? Really?), Julie Andrews, Angie Dickinson, Angela Lansbury, Charleston Heston, and Helen Hayes.


URL for this document is http://www.selonen.org/arto/signs/libra.html
Last modified on Mar 19, 2000 by Arto Selonen